Stories of Change
“LSU Web for Life Member making positive choices for the good of her sexual life”
By Anonymous (Lupane State University)
“Hie, I am a girl aged 20 and I am a peer educator as well as a Web for Life member. Before I became a peer educator I underwent some very trying times. When I was in high school, me and my boyfriend used to have unprotected sex almost on a daily basis. The pressures of high school made me do things that I regretted the instant I did. My boyfriend and I knew about condoms as a contraceptive method but we never used them because of fear of not fitting in at school with our peers.
My boyfriend used to say condoms reduce the sexual pleasure for him and I was scared to openly discuss the issue with him so I just went along with what he said. This caused me to lose focus on my studies because we would have unprotected sex and the day after my boyfriend would make me drink morning after pills. I was constantly anxious, sad and depressed and I did not know what to do.
Then it happened that I did well in my A level studies and came to study for a degree in Sociology at Lupane State University. This is when I met a peer educator who introduced me to the club and I really enjoyed their meetings because I had never seen my peers discussing sexual health and reproductive issues with such confidence. It was amazing. I felt so much relief. All the things that had been bothering me, i had finally found girls my age who had the very same issues like mine who could express themselves and get help. I joined the club immediately and also joined the web for life. Joining the club was a blessing in disguise to me. I gained so much knowledge on sexual health issues.
I learnt about a lot of issues including how important it is for one to know their status and the correct use of condoms and all the long term methods of how to protect myself from getting pregnant. I learnt about the double protection method, that even if I have a long term method I still have to consistently and correctly use condoms as well so that I could protect myself from the risk of getting an infection as well as from an unwanted pregnancy.
Soon after I joined, a Health fair was held, which offered all the health care services including those of family planning. It was during that Health fair that I made a decision to have the long term method of jadelle of five years so that it protects me during my entire varsity years. Even then I still acknowledged that I have to use it also along with condoms in the event that I want to be sexual with my partner. Ever since then I have been happier and more focused on my studies and I am able to share with my peers my story. Through being a peer educator and a web for life member, I am able to openly discuss with my peers all sexual health and reproductive issues as they affect us as youth on a daily basis. I am happy that I got this opportunity to become a peer educator, because not a single day goes by when I am not gaining more knowledge through the club and helping my peers to make safer choices in order for all of us to be able to preserve our health and graduate alive.”
“Surviving and recovering from Sexual Abuse in a tertiary environment”
By Chiedza (Midlands State University)
“My name is Chiedza (pseudo). I am a student at Midlands State University studying Bachelor of Arts Honors Degree in Development studies. I am young woman aged 21 and am the only child under the care of my grandparents, biological parents passed away when I was five years old and have been leaving with my grandparents ever since.
As a female student I jumped from one relationship to the other and for me this was the normal life of a college student. All the men I dated would promise me heaven on earth but almost every relationship would end after my boyfriend has managed to have sex with me. I would swear that I would never date a college student again .
However in the process I would meet cunning males who would seduce me into believing that they are heavenly sent. I would trust my partner to an extent of not seeing any risk in practicing any unprotected sex with them. Drinking morning after pills in each and every relationship was a habit to me but I did not mind, I was in love. My relationship life took another turn for me when the guy I thought is the one took me by surprise and cheated on me with my best friend. I then decided to stop dating as I was so convinced that relationships were not made for me.
I spent three months turning down proposals from male students and the 17th of November was the day it all changed for me as I was proposed by a lecturer. To me all men were the same however he had an element of uniqueness as he was a lecturer and was promising something more than a relationship; marriage. I then decided to accept his proposal and on the following day I slept over at his place and we indulged in unprotected sex. Before engaging in sexual relations I had to be sure and asked if it was allowed for students and lecturers to engage in sexual relations and he assured me that as long as we are going to marry each other. I felt safe around him and we continued with our relationship and I was certain that I had finally got the one who is stable and won’t do any harm to me.
Days passed by with me and my newly found boyfriend indulging in unprotected sex, either at his office or his place, I didn’t see anything wrong with it, I was in love. After a few months in the relationship I fell pregnant and I was confused, I was scared I didn’t know what to do. Finally I gathered strength and decided to tell my boyfriend.
When I informed him, I got the shock of my life when he told me that he is not responsible, I should not disturb him any more as he is married.
My world shattered, this seemed to be a dream, to me the only solution was suicide. I confided in my friend who was a peer educator. My friend supported me emotionally and took me to the university counselor who then advised me to wait till I finished writing my examinations. I couldn’t wait till examinations finished so l went to the Students Resource Centre, where l got assistance from the minders. They engaged with the college who then took my story up through the Dean of Students office.
I managed to get all the assistance l needed through the Resource Centre, where l received counseling and even transport money to return home after the college had finished with the hearing. I also got assistance from a colleague who offered accommodation and meals while l waited for my case to be through.
After all the assistance l got from the college facilitated by SAYWHAT through the Resource Centre minders, the University Chaplain accompanied me home and my grandmother accepted me with the pregnancy. After a month a hearing was done at the university which resulted in the lecture who impregnated me getting expelled from work.
After a few months I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and I learnt to love him. Currently l am on work related learning continuing with my studies and have learnt to leave with my mistakes.”
